Monday, February 28, 2011
February 28, 2011
Today's Observation: I think my son is now mocking my parenting advice from yesterday (see previous post). He insisted on running around my parents' house with a lasso. I am doomed.....
February 27, 2011
Today's Observation: The reason why I don't let my son open arcade game prizes with his teeth is because mommas don't let their babies grow up to be cowboys. Don't ask. My son didn't question it.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
February 26, 2011
Today's Observation: My 4-year old son has stumped me again. He just asked me what "humble" means. I know what it means, but how do you explain so that a young child understands? I couldn't find the words so I turned up the volume on the movie to distract him. That's horrible, but an incorrect response to his question is worse. Maybe I should serve him some pie......
February 25, 2011
Today's Observation: I watched the beautiful and touching service for fallen firefighter Glenn Allen today. I was astonished by the number of people chewing gum, including one of the pallbearers. It really bothered me. It didn't take away from the message that day but still...couldn't you have spit out the gum before the service? Out of fairness, perhaps it was a way to deal with the emotions of a tragic loss; distract yourself so you don't succumb to your emotions. It just didn't look too good on national tv.
February 24, 2011
Today's Observation: Even though it takes an hour to cook a small pizza, it's still possible to get food poisoning from it. =/
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
February 23, 2011
Today's Observation: I wore mediocre pants today. Let me explain...the jeans served their purpose by covering me and keeping me warm but I have to admit that they weren't exactly fashionable. My name is Keri and I wear mediocre jeans. "Hi Keri". Hey, at least I made it past denial.
February 22, 2011
Today's Observation: It is hard to concentrate on work while daytime t.v. is on. Certain shows, such as those that showcase the results of paternity tests to determine baby daddy, are a bit distracting. As much as I think it's cool to have a t.v. in the office, I had to turn it off.
Monday, February 21, 2011
February 21, 2011
Today's Observation: I probably would've slept better if I had turned off the t.v. last night. In the wee early hours of the morning I woke up to the following infomercials: Shark Steam Vac, Wen hair products, a how-to-parent-difficult-children program, and P90X. I'm so confused I vacuumed my child's hair then spoke very calmly and patiently to the cat while doing push-ups with one arm.
February 20, 2011
Today's Observation: If you're going to go out for a few drinks with friends, do NOT start with a large Cha Cha's margarita. That's like skipping weed and going straight to the crack pipe.
February 19, 2011
Today's Observation: Mystery drinks are always a good time. A big thank you to Anthony at Entourage for exercising his mixology skills on us.
February 18, 2011
Today's Observation: Made a new friend today. Since she insisted on sitting in the middle of my other friend and me, she was appropriately named Cream Cheese.
February 17, 2011
Today's Observation: It's very frustrating when somebody offers a favor and then looks at you with stink face when you take them up on it. It's wise to just not offer if you really aren't pleased to do it.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
February 16, 2011
Today's Observation: I need to be punished. In my attempt to scold the cat for getting onto the kitchen counter, I accidently spilled my RED wine. It splashed all over the couch. So my attempt to keep the already-dirty counter clear of cat prints, I sprayed red wine all over my furniture. When my children wake up in the morning I will allow them to yell at me and punish me because I would've done the same to them. Fair is fair.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
February 15, 2011
Today's Observation: My left hand smells like a balloon. My right one smells like whatever soap I have in the bathroom. Interesting difference.
Monday, February 14, 2011
February 14, 2011
Today's Observation: My chardonnay smells and tastes like whiskey. This makes for a very disappointing Valentine's Day toast to.....well, myself. Romance out the window, I'm glad my true Valentines (my beautiful children) did not smell nor taste like whiskey.
Disclaimer: Just to clarify, I did not taste my children because that sounds quite disturbing. When I kissed them goodnite though, I did not get the whiff of whiskey.
Disclaimer: Just to clarify, I did not taste my children because that sounds quite disturbing. When I kissed them goodnite though, I did not get the whiff of whiskey.
February 13, 2011
Today's Observation: I wanted to go through my closet and get rid of some stuff to make some more room. I didn't realize until today that I'd make more room by just leaving some clothes behind at a hotel in Laughlin. I hope the fine folks at the river enjoy my beloved red and DBHS hoodies. Who knows what else I left behind. Whoopsie.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
February 12, 2011
Today's Observation: There is a peculiar sign on the 40 fwy that I noticed on my way to Laughlin. It read something to the effect of "Miles to Wilmington, N.C.: 2,795". I nearly had to slap myself to see if I was dreaming or hallucinating because this sign is beyond random. I'm wondering why I never noticed it before.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
February 11, 2011
Today's Observation: Coke in a glass bottle is a wonderful. It reminds me of being in Mexico, but without the street tacos, tequila shooters and Montezuma's Revenge.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
February 10, 2011
Today's Observation: Wow. Buckle in, folks. Here's a 2nd observation that took place at the post office. I saw a man wearing tennis shoes with the toes cut out. I'm not speaking of some weird new fad where shoes are actually manufactured this way. He literally cut the toes out of his shoes. I'm not making fun of him in any way, but rather curious to know why he wouldn't just buy sandals. It seems that would be the cheaper route. I'm no shoe expert, though.
February 9, 2011
Today's Observation: The writers of Two and Half Men are my heroes. I wish I had half the wit they were blessed with. Here's an example: Charlie and Jake are in the car discussing something and Charlie says, "You're not having fun? Because I'm fartin' rainbows over here". This is pure genius. I need a stash of fun quotes like this to pull out at any given moment.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
February 8, 2011
Today's Observation: Something's abrew at the post office. It seems like every time I am there and have to take a number to be called to the counter, most of the people with the numbers before mine are missing. Therefore, either the USPS was issued misnumbered ticket rolls or there are a lot of ghosts with mail.
Monday, February 7, 2011
February 7, 2011
Today's Observation: I am missing an entire head of garlic. I could swear on my neighbor's life that it was on the counter last night, but today it's nowhere to be found. I think the cat had something to do with it. I think I need to have a long meow with her because I needed that garlic for tonight's dinner.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
February 6, 2011
Today's Observation: So Christina Aguilera didn't get the lyrics to the National Anthem quite right. What she sang, albeit slightly incorrect, sounded amazing. Although I'm sure most would argue that you cannot consider yourself a true patriot if you can't sing the song correctly, I'd have to say that I disagree. I'm a patriot and I can't ever remember the lyrics. I can sing more of the French national anthem: Allons enfants de la Patrie, le jour de gloire est arrivé....
February 5, 2011
Today's observation: A bruised hand is very mysterious. What the heck did I do to get a bruise on the top of my hand? This is like the third time this has happened and I have yet to figure it out.
February 4, 2011
Today's Observation: Two toilets in one bathroom is highly unusual. I know that girls like to go to the restroom together and can handle their business with a friend there. However, handling business at the same time in the same room seems a bit awkward.
This observation brought to you in part by Julz.
This observation brought to you in part by Julz.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
February 3, 2011
Today's Observation: Apparently being honest doesn't pay. It gets you one less day of pay on the next paycheck. Damn the ethics?! Tempting, but I'm willing to take the financial risk....kind of.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
February 1, 20111
Today's Observations: Two for the price of one today! See? The B.O.G.O. idea that the dentists had (see earlier post), is catching on.
- I saw a guy on a bike today and the seat was extraordinarily high; about 8 feet off the ground. This lead to a few questions: How does he get on? What happens when he wants to stop, since he isn't 10 feet tall and can just set his feet down on the ground. WHY???
- Wells Fargo has observations, too! I went to make some deposits for work and I happened to see a binder entitled, "Observations". I didn't know whether to rejoice or cry.
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